Sunday, December 19

So…I am on Koh Chang. I am in a lovely little room with a direct view of the sea, miles from any kind of town (or even a 7-Eleven!).

I don’t think I’ve written about what motivated this trip, so here’s just a little background…I have Christmas break from December 18 through January 3, but Roman only gets a few days off for New Year’s Eve. We’re going to go to Hua Hin (on the beach) for New Year’s, but I wanted to do take advantage of all that time off and go somewhere else on my own. I didn’t think a solo beach vacation sounded that fun, so I was pretty set on going to a monastery way up north for a meditation retreat…and then I got my second Pfizer jab scheduled for December 23.

I don’t really need a second booster, but I wanted to be in the Thai system as fully vaxxed (especially since I lost my US vaccine card!). But it’s a 15-17 hour overnight journey to the monastery, and I would only be able to stay there for a maximum of three nights before returning in the early morning for an 8am vaccine appointment and…that just didn’t sound very fun.

So I thought about it and decided I could be brave and do a beach trip by myself after all. Although Roman and I like to stay in cities or at least lively towns when we travel, it wasn’t that attractive an idea to me for a solo trip—I even had an offer from Nikki to stay with her in Pattaya during that time, but I started to find the idea of staying in a more remote, peaceful area very appealing.

Even though we tend to try and save money on hotels, I also started leaning toward a more resort-like place. Oh, who am I? I feel a little bit funny (and ever so privileged!) about that, but I just figured if I would be swimming alone it would make my life easier if I were on a private beach and didn’t have to bring (and leave) my phone and wallet unguarded on the beach—I could just leave that stuff in my room. I also figured it could be like a kind of mini-retreat for me—I didn’t have to do anything but swim in the ocean or the pool, meditate, and walk or bike or kayak around the area.

So, there’s the justification for my beach trip that no one asked for!

Anyway, I left Bangkok Saturday morning. 

After a five-and-a half-hour bus ride and a half hour in a songthaew, I was on the ferry to Koh Chang. 

After about half an hour, we neared the island. Koh Chang is apparently Thailand’s second largest island, but much of it is a protected national park. It is green and mountainous and lush—it felt a little like we were approaching Jurassic Park!

The resort didn’t quite feel the way I expected. I booked it because it is a small, locally-run boutique place—not a giant, hotely chain—and it got excellent reviews, especially about the kind staff. They also have free bicycles and kayaks the guests can use, and a quiet private beach. But, it turns out, it’s also right in the middle of a much larger resort complex. The owner of the hotel picked me up from the pier, and as we drove past manicured lawns and palm trees, new-looking peach-colored cottages, and an older white couple driving a Jeep, I felt like we could’ve been in Florida or something.

It is not exactly a trip to experience local Thai culture, and I feel a tiny bit…sheepish about that. And I have never loved feeling like I’m hiding away in a gated complex. But, I guess I have to just sit with the feeling of privilege that’s chafing me a little bit, and allow myself to have whatever experience I have. I get to be by myself, meditate, write, and enjoy some quiet away from the city. I’m pretty lucky to have that chance.

I am also lucky because the owner upgraded my room for free! I had booked a room that was large and pretty but had no view, since the stay was already costing me $300 for four nights. I am now in a smaller but oh-so-lovely room in a private A-frame with a direct view of the sea.

The bed

The shower

The bathroom

The view from the bathroom

The little office area

The seating area and view

After I showered and put away my things and Facetimed with Roman, I took a long walk along the beach and through the resort complex that’s situated along the beach.

Seating along the beach

View of the hotel from the water--my room is right in the middle

The bay

Could be Florida, right?

Very large pool at neighboring resort (which we can use)

The neighboring resort

Tide pools, sole tree

I stopped to look at this shell because I thought it was would make a nice addition to my collection...and then noticed  it was moving

I eventually made my way back to my resort, where I sat at one of the outside tables and had green curry with rice for dinner.

The cute little bar

It was all so lovely, and also kind of strange experiencing all that loveliness alone. I realized I felt a little unmoored arriving in a new place by myself, and that the new surroundings had a bit of a surreal quality. It was a familiar but far-off feeling—I haven’t travelled by myself in a long, long time—probably since before Roman and I got together. On many of my solo trips in Rome or Paris or Amsterdam, I often wished I had someone to share it with. And I am so grateful to have such a game travel partner in Roman. But while it feels a little bit lonely, I think there’s also something unique about a solo trip. Without anyone else here to share or process my experiences with, how will I experience things differently?

Or will I just make up for the lack of companion by writing a BLOG about it? Hahahahaha.

Anyway...it took me some time to fall asleep my first night, but then I slept deeply in my cool, quiet room. I woke up at 6am and it was already quite light outside.

It was also cool—I did my morning meditation on my front porch, and even wrapped in a silk scarf, I was shivering. It was the first time I’ve felt cold from anything except air conditioning in a long time!

Breakfast doesn’t start until 8am, so after I showered and dressed and wrote a little, I took a long walk on the beach.

The shell selection is amazing—I couldn't resist collecting a few (once I determined they were unoccupied)

After I reached the end of the beach, a canine friend ran up to lead me back to my resort for breakfast.

At breakfast, they start by bringing over a bread basket with toast and a warm croissant, butter and jam, and hot tea with milk. Though they serve pancakes, eggs, and bacon, I was pretty happy just with the bread basket, but did also get some orange juice and muesli with yogurt, which came with watermelon and pineapple. 

The hotel cat came and visited me after breakfast, though it turned out to be much more interested in getting into my room than in receiving my attention, though it allowed itself to be picked up and pet (which became necessary after it dashed into my room).

After breakfast, it still felt too cool for a dip in the pool or the bay, so I took a long walk. 

The entrance to my resort

Papaya trees just outside the entrance

The resort grounds are vast and the path to 7-11 led me past several condos and other vacation rentals, a gym, another swimming pool, and a small marina. But the moment I stepped out of the resort gates, I felt like I was back in Thailand—I immediately encountered a cheap eatery with tables set up right on the water, each equipped with the necessary fish sauce and tissue-thin paper napkins. 

There was also a collection of rickety old boats. 

There were several homes along the road, with lines of laundry drying in the wind and lots of refuse—coconut husks, old motorbikes, broken hammocks—heaped in the yards. There were also a ton of fruit trees—papaya, jackfruit, and coconut—as well as flowering hibiscus, frangipani, and bougainvillea. And there were many beach dogs hanging out in front of the homes, lazily watching me pass by. 

I passed the 7-11 and reached a kind of small town with a couple eateries and open-air shops selling produce, fruit, dried bananas, and rice. 

I walked until I neared the national forest, and then headed back to the resort, stopping along the way to pick up sodas and soda water and bottled water to bring back to my room.

I really started to enjoy myself once I got back to the resort. I took a swim in the ridiculously long pool at the neighboring resort—I literally swam back & forth four times and then I was done. Then I walked across the beach to the bay and swam in the clear, calm water. It was still a little cool around 11:30 in the morning, so I headed back to my room for a hot shower and a funny little lunch. 

The 7-11 lunch I brought in case they didn’t stop for food on the bus—sun chips, cheese stick, and cooked sweet potatoes

In the early afternoon, I went for a walk up the beach, in the opposite direction I walked this morning. When you walk in that direction, you end up on a short skinny peninsula with the Bay on your left and the ocean on your right. It’s the area on the far left side of this map:

On the peninsula, it suddenly become quite windy from the ocean side. The water on that beach is much rougher and crashes against the rocks. 

The bay side

The ocean side

There is a long concrete pier where a few young tourists were fishing, and I walked out to the end of it. 

At the end of the pier, I saw three sweet, beautifully striped crabs. 

Is it weird that seeing them made me want to eat crab?

The walk back down the pier (you can see the bay peeking through the trees on the left)

Then I continued down the road, which led into a little wooded area.

The road took me to a spa and, after that, became a less maintained. 

And then the road dead-ended at a house built right on the water.

After I'd been back in my room for a few minutes, the maid came by to clean and I decided to go on an adventure! I asked the young man working if I could take out a kayak, and he pulled one down and out to the edge of the bay for me.

I was excited to go out in the kayak but also a little nervous—I didn't want to get swept out to sea or to capsize, not least because I'd decided at the last moment to bring my phone with me. I asked the guy working the same questions I'd asked one of the women in the morning—Is it safe? 

Yes, yes, he said, just as the woman had said in the morning. 

Any part of the bay? I asked. The water is calm? 

Yes, calm, he said. 

So I dragged the kayak into the water, hopped in and took off! It was absolutely lovely—the water was calm and clear, the sky perfectly blue. Every so often, a school of a thousand tiny silvery fish would leap out of the water and arc through the air, and it was astonishing every single time. 

I decided to head toward one side of the bay, then turn around and cross the bay to the other side. I didn't want to get anywhere close to the open water, but I figured if I made my way toward the shores, I would stay in pretty shallow water and couldn't get in too much trouble.
 

It took longer than I expected to cross the bay. The wind would sometimes pick up and rowing became much more difficult. And I quickly regretted bringing my phone—kayaks have holes in them (this now seems obvious to me), and before long, my bag was soaking wet. I zipped my phone into my cloth wallet and hoped that Apple wasn't lying about the iPhone 11's water resistance.  

As I reached the rocky shore, I tried to turn my kayak around to head to the other side of the bay, but the wind was blowing too hard and I couldn't make any headway. I tried turning around in the other direction but the same thing happened—the wind just blew me back, nose-first, toward the rocks. The wind suddenly blew harder and my kayak rocked back and forth. I felt a flash of fear—what if something happened to me? What if something happened to my phone?

I let the wind push my kayak to the shore, where it rather slowly ran into some rocks and stopped. I didn't think I could turn around and head back the way I came, and I was afraid if I tried I might tip over, and what would become of me and my phone? But I knew the water couldn't be too deep, so I decided to get out of the kayak and walk along the shore for as long as I needed to. 

The shore was very rocky—several times the rocks poked into my bare feet or, since the kayak was blocking my view, I'd unexpectedly run into a big rock and hit my knee or shin. I was glad I'd changed into a dress I don't care about—I was quickly soaked past my waist. But it didn't seem like the water was going to get too deep for me to walk through it, and I reminded myself I could walk the entire way back if I needed to. 

Eventually, the water seemed to calm down a bit, and I dared to climb back into the kayak. Though the wind occasionally fought my efforts, I managed to get back to my departure spot without much of an issue.

And the items in my bag (including my phone) all survived my first (and probably last!) solo venture in a kayak on Koh Chang. 

In the evening, I walked along the beach as the sun set—and I took a selfie, in case you’ve forgotten what I look like. 

I ate dinner at the resort—seafood salad with glass noodles:

And then I headed back to my room for the evening. 

So! I have been in Koh Chang for less than 30 hours and, man, have I taken a lot of pictures and shared a lot of words! I might be reacting to my solitude by documenting a lot. Will it be the same tomorrow? I guess we'll see.