Thursday, May 20

I've been staying pretty close to home these days.

Roman leaves around 7:30am for work and I usually go out just a little after he does—it's the best time to walk, explore, or buy groceries, since the heat of the day hasn't really set in yet.

Monitor lizard, crows

Yesterday I took the metro to Chinatown and spent the morning wandering up and down the narrow alleys, looking at the fresh greens, the still-cold whole fish for sale, the dried squid, and the endless shops selling umbrellas and wigs and masks and plastic kitchenware. I picked up some Portuguese egg tarts and Taiwanese sponge cakes from two different bakeries.

When I got home, I found myself feeling a little low about the prospect of starting regular work. It seemed like kind of a ridiculous thing to feel down about, seeing as Roman just started his job but I don't start mine until June 1. If anything, I ought to be all the more aware of & grateful for my free time. But seeing Roman start the regular working hours has made it all the more real that I'm going to do the same soon. And even if I like the job, it's hard for me not to feel a sense of drudgery when I have to go to bed by a certain time, wake up at a certain time, do a specific commute, and present myself in a certain way.

I realized I'm anxious—not about the kids, funnily enough, but more about getting along with the Thai teachers and the administration. And, more than that, I'm anxious that the next year is going to feel like—well, like I spend all my time either working or recovering from working.

Of course, I have to just wait and see. I want to try and enjoy the next twelve days the best I can. And I want to try and be a good teacher. If I think about doing a good job for the kids, trying to be supportive and fun and really help them learn, then I don't feel quite so anxious about my own stuff.

But man, do I prefer being unemployed!

Anyway, yesterday afternoon, I got a message from the school saying that the kids won't even be there until June 14. So my first two weeks are not going to be classroom teaching...will I be making videos for the kids? Teaching the Thai teachers English? Something else? Who knows!

Last night there was a crazy, window-rattling, alley-flooding, blackout-inducing rainstorm. We lost power for over an hour, as the street outside filled with water, and rain somehow fell inside the stairwell of the building. I opened the door of the apartment—which leads to an indoor hallway—to a gust of wind so strong it almost blew the door closed again.

I didn't get any photos of the storm (which is hard to capture, anyway), but someone in the Bangkok Community Volunteer group shared this photo of the street.

Today I walked to a grocery store that was supposed to be cheaper than Tops, but was just like all the other overpriced mid-to-upper-range grocery stores. At some point, I just decided to get all the things I wanted for breakfast.

I got chocolate cereal, milk, plain yogurt, peanut butter, and aged cheddar cheese (those last two items made up a third of the bill). For oatmeal/rice cereal, I bought chia seeds, raisins, peanuts, dried longans, dried coconut, and dried plums. I also bought a loaf of croissant bread. I spent 1200 baht, or $38, which seems extraordinary to me, but there you go. Maybe I am filling too much of my time with meal planning/shopping/cooking, if this is what it results in?

I am definitely spending too much time cooking if it results in me making peanut brittle at home.

I don't know. It was kind of a fun experiment, but why make something at home when the product you can buy is cheap and just as good? Also, sugar ants are ubiquitous here and I've wiped down the kitchen counters like four times now, since I'm sure I missed one of those little shards (well, if I did, a huge mob of ants will show up and let me know in no time).

I am thinking I may start updating this blog on a weekly basis? Then I can amass my pictures of, uh, groceries and save up my cool stories about peanut brittle. Or something like that.

Orange cat sleeping (or trying to sleep) under a motorcycle